Tag: marriage

When Jo Gets Married

This still from the 2019 Little Women film is very Abby and I.

Anyone get this reference?

It’s from Little Women. It is arguably the climax of the story, when Jo Marsh finally gets married. At this point in the story, all the other sisters have gotten married. Jo had thought for a while that she would never get married, but then she does and it’s beautiful.

We just had this moment as a family. My sister, my dear Abby, got married last month. There are four of us siblings, just like in Little Women, and the three others have already gotten married, and now it was Abby’s turn.

I was my sister’s matron of honor. So, I thought I’d share my speech from the reception. There was much crying when I read it, so get some tissues if you need.

Hello!
I’m Anna. I’m Abby’s sister. I’m the oldest Halverson sibling. I have four children, three of which were in the wedding. The youngest isn’t sitting up on his own yet, so he wasn’t in the wedding party. I’m married to Mike, and almost 9 years ago, Abby was standing up giving a speech for my wedding. I have no idea what she said, but I’m sure it was sweet and I know that I cried. 
So, my goal today is to make Abby cry. In order to do so, I have a story. 
Abby is famous for writing notes. Not just any notes, but notes to people she’s upset with. It’s one of those things where in the heat of an argument you can’t get all your words out, and afterwards you think of all the things you should have said, and you can slow down and decompress. Yes, well, Abby did that all through childhood. If you had a fight with Abby, it was highly probable you would get a note.
I got a note once. We had a fight, and afterwards I got a note. The note was written in colorful marker, was several pages long, and had big fat tear blotches on it. It started a third down the page with the words: “Who is Anna?” It went on, in a rather poetic fashion, to describe how much Abby looked up to me as her big sister, how much she wanted me to be proud of her, how much she loved me, and forgave me. 
It was the most Abby thing I had ever seen. 

So here’s my note to Abby.

Who is Abby?
Abby is more.
More kind, more forgiving,
More passionate, more emotive.
More impacted by other people’s words and actions.
More confident in who her God is transforming her to be.
Abby is the best singer I know.
She also gives the best hugs, and the best gifts.
Abby cries the hardest, but she recovers well. 
Give her time.
I’ve been with her since she was born.
She’s the Jo to my Meg, the Ramona to my Beezus, the Jane to my Elizabeth.
She’s my best friend. 
I’ve worked hard to be her friend, because I wasn’t always. 
I’ve failed her lots of times. 
She still loves me. 
Who is Abby?
Abby is more.
And I can’t wait to see what more she will be, with Justyn, her other best friend.

Speech given on January 28, 2023
There’s me up on the stage, smiling and totally weeping.
Happy, happy day!

Soli Deo Gloria

Posted on by Anna Young Aside 0

Relationship-ing

During a pandemic? During a second shut down?

Yes and yes.

Life does not stop because of crisis, or rules, or sickness, or personal issues, or job losses, or stir crazy children, or school closures, or whatever. Life still happens. Importantly, relationships still happen. Most importantly, the calling and commands of God do not change (or completely evaporate) because of circumstances.

I am a wife. I am called and commanded to honor my husband.
Nothing going on has changed that.
I am a mother. I am called and commanded to teach, train, instruct, discipline, love, and encourage my children.
Nothing going on has changed that.
The fact that I am a mother, has also not negated the fact that I am a wife, and that the calling and command to honor my husband came before and trumps that of the calling and commands in regards to my children.

My relationship with my husband is crucial in raising our children, and my relationship with my husband takes precedence over the relationships with my children.

So, I need to take the time to keep investing in my relationship with my husband. I need to keep dating him.

Every couple is different. So finding what works for each couple will look different.
Some couples like to go out, do something different, explore the outdoors, do something service oriented, cuddle with a movie, buy each other sentimentally significant gifts, and so many other things.
For us, its talking. Yes, this pair of introverts loves spending hours together just talking. Talking together it how we date. It’s how we dated (literally, so many hours of college were spent just sitting in the Chick-fil-a parking lot talking, letting our food get cold, and our sodas watery).

So, maybe in a pandemic, or under certain shut-down/stay-at-home orders, formal dates are challenging. We love good food, so that’s been a change for us, not looking forward to that one time every few months to try some yummy food at a restaurant.
But, we have tried making new things at home, and ordered out (thank you Door Dash!) a good bit.
We like to give each other “just because” gifts. We can’t do anything real fancy, but my husband came back from the store last night with cranberry juice, my absolute favorite! So, you know, it doesn’t have to be fancy to be special. 🙂

I will say that although talking is a favorite for us, communication is not key to every relationship. Communication is essential to any relationship. There are no exceptions here. The more significant and central the relationship, the more important communication is.

No matter what relationship you are in: married, dating, single, child, parent, co-worker, grandparent, grandchild, teacher, student, friend, boss, employee. Keep investing in it, keep pursuing it, keep talking, keep doing that thing that connects you, keep working through those hard things that you butt heads over, keep forgiving, keep saying sorry, keep learning, keep teaching, keep being kind, keep relationship-ing.

Soli Deo Gloria

Posted on by Anna Young Aside 0

What I’m filling up with

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a bit drained these days.
Turns out, even introverts need people!

My husband is home, and thankfully is still working. It’s a tricky situation in our little house, but we have found a sort of groove with it, and the kids have adapted.
What has been the hardest is being home, inside, and away from family. It’s especially hard on my kids, which breaks my heart.

This new isn’t normal. This will change, but we don’t know when, and man can these days feel long.
So, what do we do?

Fill up! and fill up with truth.

Here’s what I’m doing to help fill me up, and maybe it will inspire you to fill up too: (the first one daily, but the others are scattered throughout the week pretty much)

  1. Bible – There is no way I, or you, or anyone on the planet who can make it through life, much less through stress, suffering, change, hurt, brokenness, without God’s Word. (I’m currently reading through Exodus, and seeing how God provided for his people is amazing, even through the law!)
  2. Sufficient Hope: Meditations and Prayers for Moms by Christina Fox – Having a solid, bible central devotion has helped me immensely. This book is perfect because it’s relatively short, full of scripture, has questions at the end, and has a prayer written out at the end of each little chapter. The prayers are my favorite, because they are so solid, often praying the words of scripture, and give me words to pray when I’m out.
  3. Friend-ish: Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion by Kelly Needham – Maybe an odd choice for being secluded away from friends, but man has this time also revealed some of the idols that have crept up in my heart, especially in the area of friendship. This has been a very convicting, and comforting book always pointing to the truth.
  4. Risen Motherhood Podcast – Hands down, my favorite podcast. No matter what, these ladies are always pointing to the truth of the gospel, from make up, to marriage, to parenting, and everything in between that falls into the realm of motherhood. Go listen. So good. The resources page on their website is also fantastic.
  5. Journey Women Podcast – In the same idea and purpose as Risen Motherhood, but aimed at young(er) women. Topic and interviews to encourage and point women to God in our journey through life.
  6. Foundations Podcast with Ruth and Troy Simons – This is centered on biblical parenting, and I have just started listening to this with my family (husband and kids).
  7. Biblicaltraining.org – I’ve listened to a few good classes and seminars for free on this site. I love learning and this free resource is great for that. They also have some certificates you can earn (these are not free).
  8. “Marks of a Healthy Church”, teaching series by Ligonier Ministries – This has been a balm to my soul, though I’m missing my church soooooo much right now, I’m enjoying this series about church. Ligonier Ministries also has a ton of other free teaching series, and other resources too.
  9. Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name by Sally Lloyd-Jones – This is what I have been reading to my children everyday at lunch time, and they remind me when I miss! They are into this routine of ours. Their little hearts are anxious and scared in this time too, recounting promises, hope, and truth of Jesus is just what they need now, and all the time! It helps Mommy’s heart too 🙂
  10. Any/all music by Keith and Kristyn Getty and/or City Alight – definitely favorites right now for our whole family.

There you have it!
I’m also reading some fiction for book club, an audio book for fun, and have at least three more books I’ve started, and set down for now. Trying to be better about finishing what I begin. 🙂
What are you filling up with?

Soli Deo Gloria!

Posted on by Anna Young Aside 4